You are the Only One
by NikkiStKilda
Summary: The story starts where "Last to die" left us and deals with Mauras decision: Should I stay or should I go. Mauras POV. It's my first Rizzoli & Isles story and my frist story in English. I'll post the original German version as a second chapter.


This is my first Rizzoli & Isles story - wrote it just for fun and to survive the hiatus until the next book will be published in late 2014.

Thanks to my besties, my Janes, scippy & swaany for all the positive vibes.

Also a big thanks to my favorite penguin, the sociallyawkwardpenguin for beeing my beta.

Disclaimer: All characters belong to the amazing Tess Gerritsen, I've just borrowed them for some fun.

**You're the Only One**

It's been only two weeks, since I've been back from Evensong. Two weeks since Jane told me, that she would miss me terribly if I would accept Anthony's offer to move there. It's been two weeks since Jane told me, that I should forget Daniel Brophy and head into Anthony's open and awaiting arms.

Like so often there were a lot of TV-station reporters outside my house in the first days after my return and the break in the last case. It didn't matter to them how often I told them, that I had nothing to say, they didn't leave. So I hadn't anything else to do, then to stay at home and think about everything what happened. I had enough time to think about my life and especially my love life.

Was I really that unhappy in Boston? So unhappy like I thought I was? So alone and unloved like I told myself in the last couple of weeks? I'm used to be alone, since I was a little girl. I was a loner. But now it seemed like it mattered to me to be alone? That I don't have thousands of friends around me? That there is only the odd Jane Rizzoli that I call a friend? After I thought about it for a longer period of time, I came to the conclusion, that it wasn't the loneliness, which let me think about Anthony's offer. It was Daniel, it was all about him, all the time. Everytime when I had the feeling I was over him and our affair, I saw him at a crime scene and my heart broke again.

What happened to me? Who am I now? When and where did I lose my power to throw myself from one affair right into a new one without any harm? What's so different with Daniel Brophy? What's so different with him than with every other man before? Besides the fact, that he'll never be mine at all.

So the last two weeks I spent my time weighing my possibilities; should I stay, or should I leave? What was the smarter thing to do? Yes I really do believe that Jane would miss me and yes I would miss her too. Jane Rizzoli and her squally self. But Maine isn't the end of the world. We could still be friends. Our friendship could make it even with some distance between us. We already came through so much together. Our friendship got stronger with every path we crossed. The first time in my life I had the feeling that I had found a real friend. How could I doubt it, when I told Jane about my plans of leaving Boston? Jane wouldn't be the decisive point. And so we're back to the men in my life. I'm sure Julian would love it, if I would choose to move to him to Evensong and maybe with a new job at this school there would still be a chance for me to adopt him. So that's definitively a pro for leaving Boston. Okay, then there is Anthony Sansone. In Jane's opinion he only offered me the job, because he loves me. I'm not sure, if she wasn't wrong with that. Okay it was really obvious that Daniel and Anthony didn't like each other, but could it be really true that they were both in love with me? However I was pretty sure I didn't love Anthony and unlike my normal behavior I thought I had enough of men at the moment. No romantic adventures for me in the near future. But that still leaves the question which hopes I might raise in Anthony if I accepted his offer. Why is my life so complicated? The circumstances that I still had a few days off and a lot of time to think didn't make things easier for me. When did I become such a pensive woman?

I didn't know how I ended up at his doorstep that Friday night, but suddenly I was standing there. I was standing in front of his door, Father Brophy's door to be precise. I could see the spire of his parish church right above his house and again I had the feeling of being a sinner. But after all that happened, after all that connected us, how could it be a sin to come here and say goodbye? Did I already make my decision? My decision to leave Boston, to no longer be the Queen of the Dead?

I was standing there in front of his door for some time. Suddenly the door opened, even before I could be sure why I came by or if it would be a better decision to leave. Daniel was standing right in front of me and he seemed surprised to see me there. How long has it been that we saw each other for the last time in a private moment, half a year? I looked him over, from head to toe. His hair had gotten greyer at his temples, it seems he got thinner, his eyes are so weary. 'Do you still suffer as much as I do?' I questioned myself and tried to smile.

"Hello Daniel," I finally said.

"Maura", he responded and seemed more surprised about my visit with each passing second. But then he opened the door a little further and let me in, "Please come in, it's getting really chilly outside."

Step by step, really slowly and still unsure about what I wanted to do, I entered his home. And just in that moment I realized that this was the first time we were at his house, even we knew each other for a little bit over two years now. Up until now we met either at a hotel or my place. Of course we did, our sin weighs bad enough, but a sin in this house? It's inconceivable.

I followed him into his living room and sat down on his couch, like he requested.

"Would you like something to drink? A glass of wine maybe? " he asked and ran his hand through his hair uncertainly.

I offered him a shy smile and nodded. A glass of wine was a good idea, I needed something to smooth my nerves. Why was I so nervous? I'm the one who broke up with Daniel, but still I couldn't get over him. I didn't know why but it was simply too difficult for me. Because I loved him. Because I was really in love with him. Because I would love him forever, always. And I knew that he loved me too, but I also knew that he would never choose me over the church and his vow to God. The church was his wife, the love of his life. I would be his sweetheart forever. That was the reason for our breakup, but still I loved him and now I was here sitting on his couch.

We were both in his living room, a glass of wine in our hands and I noticed his blue eyes, they inspected me. It seemed as if we both were looking for the right words to say. Daniel sat down next to me on the couch.

"Maura, I have to say that I'm surprised to see you here," he finally admitted, his words not more than a whisper.

My eyes were searching for his. I noticed that he still looked like a young boy, even with the grey hair and the folds, that were starting to draw on his skin. The laugh that escaped me was a little bit girlish. My right hand went through my raven hair, before I answered, "To be honest with you, it's a surprise for me too, to be here."

With a questioning glance he looked at me. Beside that I knew nobody like Daniel, who had an answer to everything, to every question and in every situation, for the moment he seemed speechless. But I came to visit him, so I thought I owe him an answer. "I thought about a lot of things in the last couple of days" I started, "Anthony Sansone made me an offer. I could start as a teacher at Evensong. I could be with Julian."

Daniel listened to me carefully and when he got where I was going to, he seemed to be sorry. He rose and went to the window, "You want to leave Boston?" His voice was not more than a breath and I knew what he was thinking, 'you want to leave me.' And even though we were no longer a couple, I knew he would miss me too.

When I saw him standing there, with his head down, hanging shoulders, I felt sorry, so sorry that I stopped by. He was suffering, he was suffering like me. Why did life have to be so unfair? If there was this god, this god that Daniel believed in, why is there no possibility for us to just be happy with each other? After some seconds, Daniel turned back to me. He put his hand into his pockets and smiled a little bit, "Do you know what's ironic about everything?"

I raised my right eyebrow and shook my head. I waited for him to continue, what was he talking about exactly? "Last week I spoke to Marquette. He offered me a job. He's looking for a chaplain for the Boston Police Department. I accepted his offer and resigned my priesthood. In two days I'll be a free man." Even if he was laughing only moments ago, I could see the sadness in his eyes in that moment. Without looking at me again, he turned back to the window.

I was shocked and sat there on the couch for some moments, a million thoughts were running through my head: "He did what? He gave back his priesthood, for me? For us?" My numbness abated slowly, I rose and joined him at the window. I put my hand on his shoulder, gentle.

"Daniel," his name escaped my lips, just a whisper. I pressed against his shoulder lightly and hoped he would turn around. I wanted to look into his eyes. Only moments later our eyes were locked.

"I'm sorry Maura, I shouldn't have said that. It doesn't matter. It's too late." Again he seemed sorry. Daniel escaped my hold and went back to the couch. This time I followed him immediately. I sat down next to him and took his hand in mine.

"What does it mean Daniel? It definitely matters." I asked him again.

He hesitated a moment, his eyes still full of sorrow, "I still love you Maura, I always will. You mean so much to me. But I know it's too late. I'm so sorry Maura, I really am. But I hope you'll be happy in Evensong, I hope you'll be happy with Sansone." Even though there was so much sadness in his voice, I could hear the aversion against Anthony in his voice too when he said his name.

I brought my hands up to his face and hold him gently. I looked lovingly into his eyes, "Oh Daniel, it has nothing to do with Anthony, nothing at all. Please believe me." I begged him and tried to get hold of his gaze again. And then I sank into his eyes, these blue pools of thoughtfulness, like I did so many times before. In this moment I knew what I needed to know; what all that meant, for him, for me, for us. "Daniel" I began carefully, "Daniel, what does all this mean? Did you do it for us?"

He tried to lower his head, tried to escape my gaze, but my hands were holding his face, gentle and yet strong enough that he couldn't run away. I had to see the answer to my questions in his eyes too. He hesitated a moment before he answered me, "I love you Maura, I'm in love with you and I'm so sorry that I wasn't brave enough to be officially yours. That I wasn't available for you like I was supposed to be. That I hurt you so much, I'm sorry Maura..."

In that moment I could see, that he still truly loved me that he did what he did for us. I looked at him, sincere, "It isn't too late, Daniel. It's never too late," I said soft, but with a firm voice. "I love you too," my voice was just a breath. Slowly I bent over to him and kissed him. Our lips connected in a soft gentle dance. How long had I longed for that moment?

Daniel parted from me and his hands fell into his lap, "Maura, please don't make it any more difficult, don't do this to yourself."

I shook my head and smiled, it was a confident smile, "I'm not making it more difficult. Now I know all the answers to the questions that were dancing around my head for weeks. I won't leave Boston. "If you can tell me now that you and I, that we'll start with a new beginning, together, then I'll stay in Boston. Because I love you Daniel Brophy!"

It took him a while to reply, he looked at me without any stirring. But then a wide smile spread over his face, "Oh Maura!" We fell into each others arm and kissed. Oh how much I've missed him, his warmth, his scent, to be able to feel his embrace. We sank slowly back onto the couch and sank into each others affection.

The next morning I woke up before the sun finally rose. Daniel was still asleep, I ran my hand gently through his hair and kissed his temples. I got up and took his shirt, I slipped it over my naked body and went downstairs to the living room. I went to the window and looked out into the world. Into a promising day and a future I didn't even know about last night. With a smile I grabbed my cell phone and dialed Jane's number.

After a short time she picked up, "Hey Maura, why are you up this early? Please don't tell me you did that voluntarily. If you did I can give you Reggi, so you can play with her and Gabriel and I could sleep in."

I laughed spontaneously. "Oh, Jane!" She laughs with me, but soon she was serious again.

"What happened Maura? Please don't say you've left Boston without saying goodbye to me!"

Even though Jane couldn't see it, I shook my head, "No Jane, I haven't. It's so much better! I've decided to stay!"

I thought I could feel her relief. "Oh Maura, that's great! Really it is! Oh Maura I promise to be a better friend to you, I do!"

"You are a very good friend Jane Rizzoli. The best one I've ever had and always will have." We promised each other to meet the next day and hung up. I was still standing at the window, my view was directed to the street. I could hear the church bells ringing. But I smiled, because I knew Daniel was finally mine and only mine. My only one. While I turned around to go back to the bedroom it became clear to me why I came here yesterday. My innermost heart knew that I wasn't ready to leave Boston and that Daniel Brophy was the only one who could persuade me to stay.

~ The end ~


End file.
